Relationships are the foundation of all that I hold dear in my life. And the truth is that I have really struggled at times. In a way, I actually feel like I was asleep at the wheel for a long time...until I started making different choices that led me to wake up and start experiencing more joy in my life.
My story is one of great personal transformation. Growing up, I worked hard and performed well. I was a good student and a good girl, and I created a life according to all of the stories of what I thought I should be. I learned that through achievement, I could earn approval and love. So I stacked up a list of accomplishments through childhood and young adulthood. And I learned to trade the expression of who I really was on the inside for acceptance and connection on the outside.
I started a very successful business right out of college, and then another a couple years later. I got married and bought a house. Life was all going according to plan, a plan I thought was my own...but what I didn't realize at the time was that I was riding the wave of other people's "shoulds". Here I was living the life I had created, on top of a seven figure business empire, but living in a disconnected marriage and feeling completely alone. All I wanted to do was escape. I knew I wanted something more but I didn't have the language or tools to know how to get there. Talk about scary! I didn't realize that if I dropped the story of what everyone else wanted me to be, that I would actually be free to be more of my unique self. The truth is that I wasn't just feeling disconnected from the people around me...I was disconnected from myself. The real essence of who I truly was had gotten lost somewhere along the way.
So, I sold my business and left my marriage and turned my entire life upside down. It was messy and painful and hard. And it was the first step toward waking up to ME. I began to use my voice, to speak up to advocate for myself in ways that I never thought possible. I traveled. I started doing yoga. I learned how to salsa dance. I started truly connecting with others on a real level that felt nourishing to my soul (finally!). I stepped out of a life that was contrived and into a life of authenticity.
I now live in Boulder, Colorado, with my loving partner & my beautiful daughter where I teach dance, coach clients, and enjoy community. I love my life...and that's not to say that it's perfect or "easy". The difference is that I now choose to create my life, and that is not something I could say 10 years ago. I work to stay conscious and awake. I get to nurture, care for and connect with my family every day. And I continue to grow, to learn, and to lean into my edges...with awareness, with intention, and with love.
I am now the author of my life... And it feels really good!